Questions Beginners Ask

Questions Beginners Ask

Below are some of the more common questions beginners ask about the S.L.A.A. program.

  1. How do I know if I’m a Sex and Love Addict?
  2. What’s the difference between S.L.A.A. and S.A. or S.A.A.?
  3. What are the meetings like?
  4. How much does it cost to attend meetings?
  5. Do I have to speak at a meeting?
  6. Are there meetings for people that are married to Sex and Love addicts? (Or living with, sibling of, parents of, etc.)
  7. I don’t believe in God. Can I still go to meetings?
  8. How can I find a meeting in my area?
  9. What if there are no meetings near me?
  10. Who attends S.L.A.A. meetings? What kind of people?
  11. I went to a meeting once and no one was there. Why?
  12. How do I get a sponsor?
  13. What does it mean if the meeting is closed? Can I go to a closed meeting?
  14. If I have never been to S.L.A.A. before, do I have to go to a newcomers meeting before I go to any other ones?

 

How do I know if I’m a Sex and Love Addict?

Only you can answer that question. Feel free to check out the 40 Questions for Self Diagnosis from our homepage. If you answer yes to any one of them, this program could be helpful for you. You might also take a look at the 12 Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction and see if any of those apply to you.

What’s the difference between S.L.A.A. and S.A. or S.A.A.?

We are all Twelve Step programs focusing on sexual addiction. S.L.A.A. includes love addiction, relationship, and sexual anorexia. Other “S” programs may also have different membership requirements and bottom line definitions. Click on the Related 12 Step Programs to view the links of other “sex” recovery programs that are currently available. Hopefully, viewing their web sites can be sufficient enough for you to decide which program suits your needs the best. If not, I suggest you try them out by going to the meetings near you.

What are the meetings like?

Our meetings are an opportunity for members to relate their stories about recovery from sex and love addiction. Members identify themselves by first name only and will share their experience, strength, and hope. Our stories disclose what we were like, what happened to change us, and what we are like now. Meetings may have different formats. Meetings may have formats relating to Step Study, Newcomer, Speaker, Getting Current, etc. Meetings may be closed (for identified sex and love addicts only) or open to all persons. Meetings are generally one and a half hours long unless otherwise specified.

How much does it cost to attend meetings?

There are no dues or fees for S.L.A.A. membership, according to Tradition 7. Typically, an offering basket is passed for voluntary contributions at meetings. A $1 or $2 donations are customary but not mandatory.

Do I have to speak at a meeting?

No, you don’t have to share anything unless you want to. You may be asked your first name, just to identify yourself as a newcomer.

Are there meetings for people that are married to Sex and Love addicts? (Or living with, sibling of, parents of, etc.)

Yes, there are three groups that have information for people whose lives are affected by sex and love addicts — S-Anon, COSA and CO-SLAA. You can find more information about them in the Related 12 Step Programs link on this website.

I don’t believe in God. Can I still go to meetings?

You are not required to believe in God to attend meetings. The program is spiritual in nature and includes the belief in a Higher Power, but it is not affiliated with any religion, sect, or denomination. Your concept of a Higher Power can be whatever you want it to be. Some use the group itself as something more powerful than themselves.

How can I find a meeting in my area?

All the meetings we have in Los Angeles are listed on our Current Meetings Page. A printed copy of the schedule can be downloaded there or obtained at any of the meetings you go to. If you do not see any meetings near you on our schedule, you might check neighboring counties closer to where you live.

What if there are no meetings near me?

On the S.L.A.A. National website, Fellowship Wide Services (F.W.S.) you will find information about online meetings, telephone meetings and how to start your own meeting.

Who attends S.L.A.A. meetings? What kind of people?

People who have a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. This addiction can take many forms, including but not limited to, a compulsive need for sex, extreme dependency on one person (or many), and/or a chronic preoccupation with romance, intrigue,and fantasy. Sex and love addiction may also take the form of anorexia, a compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual, or emotional nourishment. We are united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior which renders any personal differences of sexual or gender orientation irrelevant.

I went to a meeting once and no one was there. Why?

If there is no one in attendance, it may be that the meeting has temporarily moved or been disbanded. Please contact us at (323) 957-4881 or email us at info(at)slaalosangeles.org to notify us about it so that we can make any necessary changes.

How do I get a sponsor?

It is recommended that you attend meetings regularly and listen attentively to those members who share and do service at your meetings. If there is someone with whom you share a common story, you respect their level of recovery or you think this person can be helpful to you in recovery, simply approach this person and ask him or her to be your sponsor. It is recommended that you do not choose a person of the same gender to which you are attracted.

What does it mean if the meeting is closed? Can I go to a closed meeting?

If the meeting says closed or has a C next to it, that means that this meeting is for sex and love addicts only. If you are a sex and love addict or think you might be, you can go to a closed meeting. However, if you want to go to get some information about S.L.A.A. or just curious about the program because your partner, friend, relative or patient may benefit from it, please attend an open meeting instead.

If I never been to S.L.A.A. before, do I have to go to a newcomers meeting before I go to any other ones?

It is not required, but is generally recommended to go to a newcomer’s meeting the first time you decide to go to S.L.A.A., especially if you have never been to a 12 step meeting of any kind before. Newcomer’s meetings are designed to give special attention to people who are new to the program by designating a few extra minutes for them to introduce themselves and share their story if they have a desire to. All S.L.A.A. meetings will have newcomer’s pamphlets, literature, brochures and the S.L.A.A. book available.